Deployments are easily the hardest thing as a military spouse you will have to endure during your significant other’s time in service. Not only is there the added stress of picking up the extra work around the home, parenting children alone, and worry about your loved one in a far away place. There is also the factor of trying to keep your relationship with your partner strong in order to endure the time apart and come back to real life just as strong. There are some things you can do to make this time easier.
Remember that the best way to have a strong relationship with anyone is to build a strong foundation. You can do this by realizing one another’s love languages, filling up each other’s love tanks before you separate, and setting plans in action for all the ifs that can happen throughout a deployment. Having everything squared away with paperwork, and knowing where you each stand before the deployment starts will leave you feeling like you are on solid ground when the day really does come. I know from experience the stress of the unknown and the upcoming can often pull you apart and reasonably make people cranky. But right before they leave is the most important time to be spending as much time as possible together and bonding.
During their deployment you will go in waves of feeling very closely connected, to points where your lives seem to be going on in different directions. This is all very normal as life, as much as we wish it didn’t, continues to go on. You can work on your relationship during this time though. Care packages with gifts that remind him of home, love letters and texts, and video calls all help. Finding fun ways to connect is also a great idea some fun ideas for this is to find a game you can play together I like The Ungame its just a card deck full of fun and out of the box questions to allow you guys to chat about things that aren’t just what you did during the day, and the bad things that happen. Another fun idea is to read a book together, this can be fiction or non-fiction and become a little book club together! No matter what you do, try your hardest to make sure that you don’t just unload and vent every time you chat as neither of you can do much about the other’s situation from a distance.
Once they get back remember that time has passed, although it is easy to want to jump back in right where you left off. Make sure to set up dates, and quiet time together to get to know the person you are now. They have been working non-stop for months, you have grown independently for months this time is a great time to bond again and really slow down for a little while and just be together.